Thursday, April 22, 2010

Dusting myself off for Round 2

I have come to the conclusion that fertility medicines are the devil. They tempt, they confuse, they throw corkscrews at me daily. I will keep this in mind EVERY DAY next round. And I will not trust any feeling I have. My gut is broken.

My last few days were filled with wackiness.

Saturday: Brown spotting. Never seen this before. Is this that mystical implantation bleeding everyone speaks so much about?

Sunday: More brown spotting. Feeling good.

Monday: Wake up at 4am for my flight home, brown is becoming reddish. Shit. But it's still light. Flight lands and I stand up - whoosh! Double shit. Feels like a flow. Yep, getting redder. It's only day 12 past IUI. They said Aunt Flo wouldn't come until day 14. Confused, call doc's office. They ask, "is it bright red like your normal flow?" "No, but it's getting more red than brown now." "Call us back if your real flow starts." "OK" I say, while wondering what the hell a "real flow" looks like in this new world. By evening - totally bright red. This cycle's cooked.

Tuesday: Seem to have a normal period flow. Call doc's office, tell them my flow is real & ask what's up with this day 12 bleeding crap. Shouldn't it be 14 days past IUI? "It's not uncommon," they say. That would have been nice to know. Set up next cycle's ultrasound for April 30. Start to accept and move on - stop for Chic-fil-a ice cream with blueberry topping and chicken nuggets on the way home to soften the impact.

Wednesday: Wake up - period's gone. WTF? Was that really my period? Could I be pregnant? That didn't seem long enough to be considered real. It has been almost 24 hours since I talked to the doc's office, I guess we're supposed to chat every day this week. "Clomid can shorten your flow," they say. Fabulous.

So, on my way home I stopped by the pharmacy. I'm all stocked up with Clomid and my Ovidrel injection is patiently waiting in my fridge. Tomorrow, round 2 begins.

This weekend, I'm going to lose myself in yard work. We're working to set up two 6x4 square foot gardens in our back yard. I'm kind of excited about it. I grew tomatoes last year, and they turned out awesome. But this year, we're expanding to all sorts of different veggies. As a bonus, maybe it will help me work off that Chic-fil-a. :)


  1. Chic-fila-a is the best!
    Wishing you luck for the next cycle, sorry about the crappy AF on Day 12.

  2. That's just adding insult to injury with the early arrival. :(

    I subscribe to the thought-process in regards to my cycle (on or off meds) as "new and interesting ways my body decides to screw with me." It's ALL fake. If I don't get my hopes up obsessing over the symptoms, then I don't have as hard a crash, and just think of the absolute thrill if it did work?

    Dang, now I want Chic-fil-a! Good luck heading into your next round! :)

  3. Hi, here via Stirrup Queens and I admit I have been lurking for a bit now.

    I just wanted to say how sorry I am that this didn't work. I hate the mind games TTC plays with us. My AF arrived 4 days late after my first clomid cycle and I went through a tough time not knowing what was going on.

    Good luck with your next cycle.